Tuesday, February 04, 2014

It Was Definitely Worth The Long, Long Wait


 
This town is absolutely going nuts over it's new Super Bowl victory. Everybody in Seattle is jumping on the bandwagon. Even the TV network's national news programs covered The Seattle Seahawks arriving home at Sea-Tac airport and their parade of over 700,000+ fans through downtown while showing their support of the Seahawks 12th Man. Immediately afterwards Starbucks headquarters announced a new espresso drink called, "Blown Snap." At that very same time, Amazon.com countered by acknowledging they are discontinuing their delivery service with, "Bronco Express." Plus, recent Grammy winner and rap artist McLemore will title his new CD, "Thug." Boeing announced globally that their orange colored fleet of 757's will be permanently grounded because of it's, "Lack of Performance." Just yesterday, University of Washington seismologists announced that Mt. St. Helen's is predicted to erupt again on the very same moment of next years Seahawks' season kickoff. Former Sonics Gary Payton and Shawn Kemp have announced they are opening a new restaurant called, "The Enforcer." Local owners of Oh Boy Oberto announced a new speed boat entry in this years hydro's, "Have Mercy, Percy." Bill Gates was spotted yesterday washing his new car using a soiled, "Manning #18 Jersey." Pearl Jam will open their new U.S. tour in Red Rocks Canyon, Colorado and charge admission of only "8" cents. Top brass at the Nuclear Submarine facility located in Bangor, WA announced that all new seamen must be below the height of 5'10". Jack Sikma and Matt Hesselbeck have opened a new sports consultancy firm named, "Over At Halftime." The restaurant atop The Space Needle invites guest for a dinner at sunset called, "Watch The Orange Go Down." EMP Rock Museum has denied official entry to any music by, "John Denver." The Seahawks announced today that next season's training facility will be relocated to "Omaha, Omaha." The Broncos training will be held at, "Turnover City." Coach Pete Carroll signed-on with a publisher to write his forthcoming book titled, "Only A College Coach." Seattle's openly gay mayor announced the gay pride parade this year will be called, "Why Not Us?" And get this, even blogger/archivist Phillip Rauls has publically challenged sports analyst Erin Andrews to, "Braid her hair to Dreadlocks."
Can you hear me now?




Copyright 2014 (c) Rauls Media LLC All Rights Reserved

5 Comments:

Blogger Mystere2 said...

Hope the two sane states celebrated and/or consoled themselves with the relaxant of their choice.
Time has come today.

8:10 AM  
Blogger petertheleader said...

This could have only happened in NY! Congratulations, looks like the beginning of a dynasty. PG

9:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Damn funny, buddy! Rog

1:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Peyton had a bad day, and the Seahawks are definitely what caused it.

Steve R.

9:26 PM  
Blogger Jon-Eric Rauls said...

HAHA!!! Awesome article. Despite being completely satisfied and ecstatic with this monumental win lets hope this is indeed the beginning of a dynasty.

#gohawks

9:42 PM  

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